


Seniors don't Date Freshman

by Jeannyboy



Category: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: College, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-12 18:01:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29513586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jeannyboy/pseuds/Jeannyboy
Summary: Jaskier is excited to attend Oxenfurt. He's even more excited when asked to allow Geralt Rivia, his high school crush from years before, to ride with him.What happens is an overtalkative musician and ex-soldier take a journey into college, where they find not only themselves,  but each other as well.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Comments: 11
Kudos: 56





	Seniors don't Date Freshman

**Author's Note:**

> Whew!
> 
> Welcome to month 2 of my year long challenge to write a fic a month, using a prompt list as inspiration.
> 
> Some of the ideas are strange but when you see the list I had to work with, you'll understand. I did not bold or highlight any of the prompts throughout, I'll just list them down below.
> 
> Warmth - Green - Nature - Inside - Cozy - Monochrome - Icy - Chill - Red - Lights - Reflection - Food - Up - Love - Shadows - Emotion - Sky - Street - Style - Colorful - Smile - Water - Fun - Young - Embrace - Fire - Careless - Small

Jaskier remembers the first time that he went to a football game. 

His best friend Essi was with him, it was very loud and the field was so green. It was the brightest thing in the stadium. The team colors of both schools seemed dull comparatively. That’s what he thought until he saw their star player. It was the team's halfback, Geralt.

Of course Eskel was important, he was the quarterback, but he either always made the pass to Geralt, or made it to someone who got it  _ to  _ Geralt. Geralt was big but he was fast and had yet been unable to blast through anyone who stood in his way. Because of him, the Temeria Timberwolves had gone to state and won the last three years. 

Everything was pale compared to that field, except the young man who owned it. 

Geralt was stunning and Jaskier knew immediately that his crush on Lambert from art theory had been snuffed out. No longer a spark for the sweet, handsome boy who was the first one outside of Essi to actually talk to him without merely humoring him. Gone was the flame he’d harbored since school started. He huffed to himself. Not like he could get a date with either one of them. Seniors didn’t date Freshman, that’s just the way it worked in the hierarchy of high school, but oh did it do his heart good to fantasize. 

It gave his heart words that he started to write down on paper his freshman year of high school. The words progressed and spilled out until tunes followed them. He asked for his first guitar that Christmas, and because his family was rich, he got it. It was his favorite thing that he owned and it practically never left his side.

His favorite class was art theory and school of rock. He learned songs and in between learning new ones, he tried to write his own. Essi was the only one he would perform these for and her own lovely voice made their way into the music. 

With his new found infatuation to the boy with a shock of prematurely white hair and brown eyes so light they were the color of citrine, he waxed poetic in any fashion he could.

That was until his best friend Essi got sick and was forced to move to be closer to a major hospital. They stayed in touch, their emails becoming few and far between as her health got worse. Until he received an email one evening from her mother that Essi had passed away. 

Essi’s passing eclipsed Jaskier’s attraction to Geralt in the sense that, while his heart still went a little wild around the senior, his heart ached and he no longer made music. 

When Geralt left for boot camp directly after receiving his diploma, it surprised almost no one. He was always loudly proclaiming how he would save the innocent, take care of the needy. He would be their saviour and everyone cheered for him like they did at games.

That summer, between freshman and sophomore year, Jaskeir received a package in the mail. It was addressed from The Daven’s, Essi’s parents.

Inside the box was one of Jaskier’s old band shirts from when they were younger and had sleepovers. The fabric was worn thin, as if she’d worn it to sleep every night since. There were pictures of the two of them, on school trips and out with friends that they no longer talked to. A couple of other knick knacks littered the box, things that would find themselves on his shelves for years to come. At the very bottom was a thick letter written in Essi’s thin lettering. In it were all the songs they’d written together, all of the poems and jingles they’d come up with over the course of their friendship. She’d written in the letter itself that she knew things weren’t getting any better and that she hoped Jaskier wouldn’t lose his voice. 

_ I know that this is going to be hard, losing me, and I’m sorry that I can’t physically be there to comfort you. I will miss you greatly, Dandelion, but you better not give up without me there. I will haunt you if I have to. Please, not for me, but for yourself. Never give up and never stop writing your songs. Someone will hear your heart and when they do, it’s going to be brilliant. _

He’d cried for longer than any other man would care to admit. However, once he was done grieving, he picked his guitar up and started to write again. He was already a sophomore by the time words came back to him but once they did, he wrote everything down. Notebook and scrap pieces of paper when he had nothing else on him overflowed and spilled over with his messy scrawl. His heart wasn’t mended, but he was working on it.

*** 

“Alright Little Eye, it’s time to shine.” Jaskier mumbles under his breath before giving his rather bored looking audience a bright smile.

“Good evening ladies and gents. I’m Jaskier and I’ll be playing for you tonight.” He sits down and concentrates on singing his version of Talk Too Much by COIN. He was having fun, saw some of the coffee shop patrons bobbing their heads along as they went about their own business. He was starting to loosen up and had started another song when he noticed a familiar face stalk in through the doors. 

He hadn’t seen that face in 5 years; had almost completely forgotten about the little crush he’d had for not even a year, but there he was, Geralt Rivia, making his way to one of the back booths. His hair had gotten longer and he didn’t seem as confident when he walked, but it was Geralt. Jaskier wasn’t sure if he’d stumbled on his words or not but he did his best to play and catch glimpses of Geralt at the same time. Which of course came naturally to him, the born entertainer that he was.

It wasn’t long before Yennefer, Geralt’s high school girlfriend, and now close friend of Jaskier’s, came strutting in through the door.She waved at Jaskier and flashed him a bright smile before heading straight to the back booth to join Geralt. It didn’t surprise Jaskier that she would be with him as soon as he returned.

The two of them, that is to say Jaskier and Yennefer, had become friends. Once Geralt had gone and she’d graduated as well, she seemed to not have many genuine friends. She was beautiful but wasn’t into vapid things like the girls who would hang around her and Geralt at school so when they had all gone their separate ways, they hadn’t stayed in touch.

Yennefer was smart enough to go to any college or university she chose. She’d stayed behind, doing online classes while working and helping take care of her half sister. So the two had become close when he’d taken a job at the same restaurant the summer before his senior year. It’s not like he needed the money, his family was loaded, but he was tired of their pedestal and wanted to make it on his own. 

They hadn’t really talked much about high school, both having been grateful to finally escape it, therefore her past relationship with the halfback had never really come up. Well, not in great detail at least. His name surely had never come up. Jaskier himself had had so many flings, never really able to keep to anyone for any length of time that the talk of significant others had just been avoided altogether it seemed. 

He watched as they talked together idly, Yennefer smiling gently at Geralt while the latter never seemed to give her his full attention. He’d glance every once in a while at Jaskier, to which Jaskier would smile at him, all teeth and distanced charm. Geralt never held his eyes, those citrine chips flitting away so quickly Jaskier began to wonder if he had imagined the times he’d caught his eye. 

Jaskier had played 2 too many songs and now saw the manager waving at him to exit the stage.

“Alright everyone, it seems like I’ve overstayed my welcome. As always, I hope you enjoy your evening as you allowed me to serenade you. Please, everyone have a lovely evening.” He took a bow and turned to place Little Eye back in her case. When he turned around. He noticed Geralt up and walking towards the door. Yennefer was paying the man at the counter and rushing out after him. She didn’t wait for Jaskier or even acknowledge him. His heart broke a little at being dismissed, but he was used to it.

*** 

“Sorry about the last few weeks. I’ve been juggling work and school and now Geralt is back in town and it’s just been a mess. Thanks for hanging out with me today.” Jaskier listens intently as his friend talks about her life. She’d already apologized about the night at the coffee shop, the next day when they’d been at work. Now she was apologizing for becoming a ghost outside of all of her responsibilities. 

“It’s okay. You work hard. However you may be working a little too much. Summer classes, honey why?”

She sighed, prolonging her answer with another sip of her iced coffee. “I just want to get as much done as possible. I’m so close to graduating with my BA and then Triss will graduate and I can finally go off to start working on my Master’s.”

Jaskier shook his head, a smile on his lips as he listened to her. 

“Well if there’s ever anything I can do to help, please just let me know. I am at your beck and call m’lady.” He bows deep and she curtsies, both bursting into a fit of giggles shortly after.

“Actually, there is something you could do. Didn’t you say you’d gotten into Oxenfurt’s music program?”

“I did.” Jaskier had been so excited when the letter had finally come that he’d been unable to wait to tell Yennefer. He’d gone in early to catch her before she left for the day. He’d made an extra $15 in tips that night; which was saying a lot considering he was a terrible waiter.

“Well, you know that Geralt is back and well...he’s also starting Oxenfurt in the fall and I was hoping, maybe you wouldn’t mind giving him a ride down when you go in two weeks?” Her voice was bashful, unlike her normal brash confidence. He had noticed her like this before, never around people she felt she had to keep a guard around, but sometimes she would get soft around him; her corners not so sharp. It had happened a lot recently and he was pretty sure Geralt being back in town had something to do with it. 

“Uhm, sure. I wouldn’t mind. It’s just a couple of hours.”

“Okay but listen, he’s not like he was back in high school. He’s...he went through a lot while he was in the Army and now...let’s just say that he’s trying to get his life back on track, okay? So you can’t be prying into him like I know you want to.”

Jaskier threw up his hands, his bags sliding roughly from wrist to elbow. “Got it! I wasn’t going to anyway. Okay, maybe I would’ve wanted to ask since you know, what else do you talk about with people you don’t really know-”

“Maybe this was a bad idea. I’ve changed my mind.” 

“Hey, hey, hey now! Don’t lose faith in me! I’ve totally got this. It will be fine, I promise.” He smiled his most charming smile, the one that had not only gotten him into many a bed in the past, but had also gotten him several slaps in the face. This time however, it seemed to do the trick, and Yennefer consented to him driving Geralt to Oxenfurt in two weeks’ time. 

*** 

  
  


It was Thursday, it was sunny, but it was also bleak. Bleak for Jaskier who was packing only the essentials in his car so that Geralt may have enough space for his things as well. Jaskier wasn’t feeling queasy because he hadn’t packed the amount of clothes he’d have loved to bring, he was queasy because the night before, he’d been looking through the things that Essi had sent him (well, her parents) and had read through all the little songs they had made up. 

There were several of longing, and heartache, and lust. Who about? Why, none other than the snowy haired beauty that would be accompanying him on this hours’ long journey to the new chapter of his life. He’d remembered some of the tunes they had come up with to go along with them, most of them, however, just being silly little dittys. 

It had sparked that flame again, that shortly lived infatuation he’d had with the older boy, now a man. He was nervous now, unlike he had been when agreeing to Yennerfer’s initial inquiry. He’d worried about what to wear, which he never did. He was always so confident, it was the one thing that he and Yennefer shared that had allowed them to bond so quickly. 

He stood now, staring at the bags and boxes in his car (he had refused to use his parents’ good suitcases, he wanted the full college experience of cardboard and duffles) deciding whether or not he should leave the two extra pillows he had once been hell bent on taking. Now he was wondering if Geralt would make fun of him…

There was a honk and he spun around, knocking his shoulder hard against the open car door. He cursed beneath his breath, trying his best to keep the smile on his face.

Yennefer pulled into the driveway beside him, waving through the open window before she got out. She ran over to him, leaving Geralt.

“I forgot to mention not to mention his scar. It’s a difficult subject for him okay? I just realized in the car that I hadn’t mentioned it before.”

Jaskier held the smile but his brows drew together in question as he looked around and found Geralt grabbing his things from her car. As he righted himself, one bag thrown over his shoulder and a plastic tote in his arms, Jaskier spotted what she was talking about. 

It started at the hairline and stretched all the way over his brow and continuing halfway down his cheek. The scar was still bright in its newness, a dark scarlet of a newly healed wound. There was no scabbing, but Jaskier could imagine a twinge of pain when looking at it. 

“Geralt! Hi!” Jaskier’s voice was overly loud and it looked as if he’d actually startled Geralt instead of greeting him politely. Yennefer gave him a look before going to get the remainder of his things from her car.

“Jaskier, was it?”

Jaskier bowed as he did with Yennefer. “The one and only, at your service.” He chanced a look up through his lashes and was disappointed to see Geralt nod once before starting to pack his things in the trunk.

He heard the slam of a door and saw Yennefer coming over with a pillow. Just one pillow. Jaskier huffed and tried not to look at the three currently occupying space in the back seat. 

“I think that’s it.” Geralt takes the pillow from Yennefer and places it on top of the plastic tote before slamming the trunk closed. He pulls Yennefer in for a hug and Jaskier turns away, giving them the privacy he’s sure they want. He can hear them talking quietly and starts to hum and fiddle on his phone.

There’s a touch on his shoulder and for a brief, wild moment, he hopes it’s Geralt but when he turns it’s Yennefer.

“You be nice to him. None of that squawking you do and please, please for the love of God don’t be careless. In your driving or what you say.”

“Alright  _ mom _ .” Jaskier rolls his eyes but hugs her tightly when she wraps her arms around him. He can feel heat in his eyes and does his best not to shed any tears. He’d lost one best friend and now it felt like he was losing another. Although, he knew logically, that wasn’t what was happening, it still hurt his heart anyway. 

***

  
  


After some more brief goodbyes, this time with his parents who waved from the door, Yennefer left and Jaskier and Geralt started their journey.

It was awkward at first, even with Jaskier being as charming as he could be. Which, looking back, he figured that was probably the issue he was having in the first place. He was nervous and sweaty, things that he both did not like and were fairly unfamiliar to him. Especially at the age where he was becoming more himself; having left his awkward, easily flustered self far away in the recesses of his Junior year.

The drive itself started as Jaskier attempted to make light conversation, asking questions like “Are you excited to go back to school?” “What classes will you be taking?” “Any plans for the future?”, all of which were met with monosyllabic answers and/or grunts. After about thirty minutes of these failed exchanges, Jaskier decided it was time for some music.

“Do you mind if I sing along? I really hope not, seeing as that’s what I’m going to school for. I’ll try to stay silent but odds are I’ll end up bursting like the head of a magically, ill-fated asshole in some dramatic fantasy story.” He looked at Geralt, hoping he would’ve gotten at least a smirk out of him, but to no avail. He sat stone silent, staring out the window at the rushing scenery. Jaskier took his silence as affirmation that singing was permitted.

***

After a long day of driving, stopping only once for a bathroom break outside of their meal break at lunch, they finally had made it to Oxenfurt. It was a quaint town, the campus letting out directly onto the main street which was lined with happy little shops and restaurants. The town itself boasted the success of the college by which it had kept as it’s main focus, putting money into the school and their historic district to keep a rather Kinkadian look to the town. 

Jaskier was in love immediately. It was like he’d been transported straight to the pages of a fantasy novel. Of course technology pervaded and everything was up to standard as far as modern comforts were concerned, but the caretakers of the town had made sure it was stylized as it would have been when the school opened. 

Jaskier parked in the student parking between his and Geralt’s building. He hopped out of the car immediately and stretched.

“Wow, am I glad to be here or what?” He looked around at Geralt who had gotten out as well and was looking around. 

“You think you’ll like it here?” His question was pointed and he stared at Geralt until he turned and met his eyes.

“I hope so.” A smile did not accompany this statement but his eyes looked a little more full of life. Instead of the dull yellow, they seemed brighter, like a light had lit up behind them.Jaskier silently hoped that it was a sign that things would get better and he could have a genuine friend in Geralt, if nothing else.

Geralt broke their eye contact and walked to the back of the car and waited for Jaskier to pop the trunk.

“Oh, I was thinking maybe we could get something to eat and then maybe help each other cart our things to our rooms…”

Geralt’s face scrunched up, almost as if in a wince. “I’d rather just get settled in. It’s been a long day.”

“Oh okay. Well hey!” He rounded the car to help Geralt, or rather, watch Geralt stack his things together to grasp. “Maybe we can exchange numbers. Since we’re the only two we know here. It would be nice having a friend to count on if something happens.” Jaskier smiles his biggest smile, holding his phone out for Geralt to take.

Geralt stares at the phone at first before heaving a sigh and pulling his own out of his pocket. He hands it over and takes Jaskiers’ and the first thing he notices is that the phone has a large crack running through the screen, bisecting one of the corners from the rest of the phone. It was an older model, possibly from when he’d been in school and the case looked brand new. It was a hunk of thick plastic and metal, probably military grade and shock proof. Trying not to think too hard on it, Jaskier quickly enters in his name and number before handing it back to Geralt.

“Alright, well, I guess I’ll see you round!” Jaskier waved to Geralt even though the latter was already walking away from him, having simply nodded again before departing. Jaskier sighed and stared wistfully for a full five seconds before turning to unload his own things.

*** 

The term started and Jaskier got swept up into doing his own thing and loving every minute of every class he had. He worked constantly with Little Eye in between classes, after classes, of course however,never before classes (it took him too long to get ready to do that). He was working so much, he often forgot to eat. 

At least that’s the story he told Geralt when they ate together for the first time at one of the little restaurants on main street. It was old and rustic, much like the rest of the town, and it was the first place Jaskier had wanted to eat off campus. 

He’d texted Geralt, wondering if they could get something to eat. Geralt had initially refused until Jaskier pleaded with him, saying he’d pay and that he wouldn’t ask any intrusive questions. His response had been a short ‘ok’ five minutes later.

They’d walked into town together, starting a bi weekly tradition that had their friendship blossoming. Slowly, Jaskier would admit, but blossoming nonetheless.

It was several weeks into their first semester and the two were talking over their appetizer of pretzels and beer cheese, waiting for their main course. Jaskier was thrilled to be talking to someone other than another student in his course.

Over the moon, actually, considering it was Geralt. They didn’t talk much but Geralt had opened up to the point where he would actually hold conversations with Jaskier. Which wasn’t hard, most of the time it was just answering questions that Jaskeir asked, but sometimes he would actually discuss things with Jaskier.

Tonight was no exception. The subject of high school and style had come up and Jaskier was all for it.

“So when did you start dressing in monochromatic colors?” Jaskier was dipping a pretzel in the cheese, not noticing at first the strange look Geralt gave him. When he finally saw his quizzical look, he elaborated. “Well if memory serves me correctly, when we were in high school you wore a lot more than just black and grey with the occasional pop of white. Your jeans are probably the same but you’d wear sweaters of green and brown, warmer weathers found you in a lot of bright blues and I even distinctly remember a purple polo at one point.”

Geralt shakes his head, hand lowering from where he was about to take a bite. “Wait a minute, we went to high school together? I thought you had just graduated.”

“No, no. I took a year off before sending in my transcripts.”

“And you remember what I wore because…”

“Okay look mister, don’t look into it. I remember the purple specifically because it contrasted beautifully with your eyes.”

Geralt raises a brow and stares at Jaskier, silently ushering him to continue.

“I’m not a creep. Everyone knew who you were. Not many white haired seniors with startling eyes like yours, okay? You were the best player we had on the football team.” Jaskier could feel his face heating up and immediately changed tactics. “Okay no, I asked you a question first. A very simple one at that.” He’s pointing his pretzel piece at Geralt as if it was a magic wand that would have Geralt talking.

He did after a moment, but Jaskier was positive the pretzel held no magical properties.

“I mean, yeah, I guess I have started to dress a little more...dark. When I got back from tour, none of my old clothes fit. I was considerably more...sizable. Yennefer went with me to help me shop and I don’t know, I guess I just gravitate to these colors now. What about you? Do you dress the same as when you were in school? How come I never saw you?”

“Shades, honey, you dress in shades. And that would probably be because our social circles never clashed. I was a freshman when you were a senior and we didn’t share any classes.”

“But you’re friends with Yen. Surely I would’ve known you by default.”

Jaskier was shaking his head. “Unfortunately Yennefer and I didn’t become friends until I got a job with her. Neither one of us had a lot of friends. I’m annoyingly loud and she’s a bitch. Some would say at least. That’s when I started going by my stage name, when I started to see the world for what it was and wanted it to experience me in all my glory. Everything was going to be because I decided it.”

“Jaskier isn’t your real name?”

“No. And I’m not repeating my other one. It’s dreadful. With it comes all of the bars my family tried to place on me. I changed my name and I changed how people saw me. No longer was I the loud, obnoxious class clown. I was now the performer who everyone would remember for my talent, not my family name. I’m still the colorful little parrot that I once was, although I’ve molted my baby feathers and grown into my style a bit more. Wouldn’t you agree?”

Geralt grunted and rolled his eyes, hiding his smile behind his water glass.

*** 

“You should come watch me sing!” It was the next week and Jaskier was walking Geralt back from a Chemistry class, hoping to rope him into his first ever college performance. It had been a long and arduous process but he had finally gotten the manager of a bar in town to agree to let him play some covers every Friday night until Christmas break. 

“I had to go through a lot to get this spot!”

Geralt scoffed, hiking his bag higher up on his shoulder. He liked Jaskier’s company but disliked it when he walked him across campus. He wasn’t ashamed to be with him, he just didn’t like bringing attention to himself even more than his appearance already did. “Like what?”

“Okay so it wasn’t much other than griping and annoying the guy until he gave in but like, that was a lot for me! I happen to like school and it took out precious hours of my time that I could’ve been using to work on my own songs!”

Geralt listened as his friend continued to pester him and had had enough by the time they made it to his room. Standing at the threshold, Geralt looked back to Jsakier.

“Three songs you said?”

“Yes! Oh please, Geralt, please, please-”

“I’m not cheering you on.”

“Of course not! Well, not audibly anyway. Maybe some silent prayers that I don’t fall flat on my face?”

“Maybe. I’ll think about it.”

“Oh Geralt! Thank-” Geralt slams the door, cutting off Jaskier’s words but he couldn’t care any less. He jumped for joy right there in the dorm hallway.

*** 

Later that night, Jaskier is in the process of readying himself when there’s a knock at his door. He knows it’s not his roommate; he has a key. Not minding to show himself off, Jaskier answers the door, bare torso on display, only to find chips of citrine staring him down. 

Jaskier doesn’t mind of course, he is a bit startled that Geralt knows where he lives, but otherwise is nonplussed.

“Geralt! I didn’t know you were stopping by. I thought I would meet you in the quad.” He lets the older student into the room as he says this, watching him prowl around the room before he sits at Jaskier’s desk. 

“Well I’m finished with my work and honestly was quite bored.”

Jaskier grinned. “So you came to me, your knight in shining armor-”

“I wouldn’t go  _ that _ far.”

Jaskier pouts. “Come on Geralt, lighten up. I could pull off armor...maybe.”

Geralt gives him a skeptical look as he gives up and rummages through his wardrobe. It was not as extensive as what he had at home of course, but he’d packed some gems. He looked over at Geralt discreetly and looked him over. He was wearing all black. All of it. Jeans, boots, tshirt straining across his muscles... Nothing snazzy, nothing that would catch the eye. That was all in his looks. Maybe that was why Yennefer hadn’t forced him into anything too eye catching.

Wanting to make sure people  _ really _ noticed him, Jaskier pulled out a slightly oversized flowing button up. It was white with blue floral print with pops of magenta. He tucked it into his high waisted pants leaving the buttons undone about halfway up his chest. Artfully rolling the sleeves up, he fussed with the new cuff line before messing with his hair until it was coiffed perfectly to his liking. 

Turning with a flourish, he grinned at Geralt. “Whaddaya think?”

His ears burned a little as Geralt looked him up and down, lingering on his chest before flitting back up to his eyes. He shrugged. 

“Geralt! You’re supposed to say I look nice!” Jaskier whined, his shoulders slumping in defeat. 

‘Well you do, I guess.” Jaskier turns to Geralt but his face is turned away, looking out the window. “Look nice I mean. You look nice.”

A warmth spreads through Jaskiers’ chest and he’s buoyant the whole way to the bar.

***

The evening was overcast as they walked down the cobbled street. Jaskier is talking a mile a minute. This is normal, but as he’s walking and talking, he’s occasionally looking over to Geralt and he notices that he keeps looking up.

Stopping mid-sentence, Jaskier asks him about it.

“Oh it’s nothing. It’s just been cloudy and now the stars are coming out.” Geralt has stopped, Jaskier pulling to a halt on instinct to stare along with Geralt at the sky. It was almost completely dark, the twilight warm with the colors of budding fall. The weather hadn’t turned cold yet, not even a chill, but Jaskier could feel goosebumps as he took in the view. 

For once, Jaskier is silent. It actually surprises him when Geralt is the one to break the silence between them. “It’s calming to just look up at the sky and forget the troubles here on earth sometimes.”

Clouds clung to the color of fire, dark purples settling into the spaces where the sun did not pierce. Stars dotted the night, breathing life into the darkness.It was beautiful, he had to admit; but the sight that made his heart beat faster was the quiet smile Geralt had on his lips as he gazed upward.

Another moment passed before Geralt came back down to earth and led them on their way.

*** 

It’s Friday and everyone of age or with a fake ID is halfway drunk by the time Jaskier and Geralt arrive at the Alchemy. There’s music playing from an old jukebox and people, young and old, are causing contained chaos at their own tables or milling around the bar.

It’s hard to find a spot for them to sit but eventually they find a table next to the wall, about halfway to the back wall from the soapbox sized stage at the head of the room. There’s already a mic and a stool waiting for him. 

“Why don’t you wait here? I’m going to go find the manager.”

Geralt sits obediently, moreso to have something to do to get himself to be less noticed. He had never had trouble standing out and once upon a time, it wouldn’t have been an issue. He used to enjoy the praise he would get after a hard won game, the adrenaline still singing through his veins while others lavished kind words and gifts upon him. Now however, he wished more than anything that he could disappear. 

Jaskier was back in no time, two drinks in hand.

“I brought some water. I didn’t know if you really drank or not.”

The younger man was fidgety, shaking his hands out as he stood instead of taking a seat. He watched as the manager made his way through the crowd and garnered their attention. 

Geralt could see how nervous Jaskier was, even though he’d never known him to even understand really what the word meant. He placed a hand on Jaskier’s arm, looking up into his blue diamond eyes. “You’ll do great.” He didn’t smile but Jaskier could see the light in his eyes and grinned.

“I knew you would cheer me on.”

Geralt rolls his eyes, shoving Jaskier’s arm away from him.

“Just don’t fall on your face walking up there.”

He got a thumbs up in return as Jaskier grabbed Little Eye out of her case and sauntered up to the stage.

“Hello and good evening everyone!” Jaskier does his best to emulate cheer and bravado, trying to spread it out into the rest of the room. A few people look up from their conversations, the lone drinkers giving him their full attention.

“My name’s Jaskier, I’m very excited to play for you. I only have a few tonight but maybe if you cheer enough for me, I can play longer next time.” He winks at the crowd, gets a lonely hoot of praise, before he starts.

“This first one is inspired well...by me.” He starts to strum his guitar, a jaunty tune pouring out from the strings. It was the same song he’d played at the coffee shop when he found out Geralt was still in town.

The first time he had heard Talk Too Much he had fallen in love. The song was him to a T and he enjoyed opening new places with it as a way to informally introduce himself. He couldn’t help to glance over at Geralt every once in a while, noticing his fingers tapping on the table top. His smile grew and he was happy.

His first song bled into the second and before long he was introducing his third and final song. Right as he started to play, he noticed a man and his buddies come in, almost twice his size, looking around the room. He was the only other still thing in the room outside of Geralt and Jaskiers pulse jumped when he noticed the big man start to stalk towards Geralt’s table. 

Trying his best to gather everyone into a chorus, Jaskier butted into his own song, asking everyone to repeat after him. It didn’t work to stop the man as it was a hasty idea anyway, and before he knew it, he watched as the scene unfolded. He saw Geralt turn to look at the advancing party, watched as tension filled his body as he stood. 

The man with the hawklike gaze stopped, almost chest to chest with Geralt, and started to speak. Jaskier was playing on autopilot now, no longer enjoying his time in the spotlight. His pulse hammered and he was very aware that his stage presence would not warrant him a good send off.

He broke when the man struck, quick as a viper. Geralt’s head flew back but he retaliated quickly, as if the punch had simply rebounded off of him and back at the man. Not knowing what to do, Jaskier continued to play as the scene seemed to have passed.

Geralt went to sit back down, dismissing the man until, like an animal, he pounced. Geralt was dragged to the floor and Jaskier lost sight of him. A shout went up and the whole room was a frenzy. Forgetting about his music completely, Jaskier hopped from his stool and went running to where he’d last seen Geralt.

Fully expecting to get his ass kicked, Jaskiers heart skipped when he saw Geralt on top of the other man, punching him, teeth bared and knuckles bloody. His friends tried pulling Geralt off, but other bodies kept hampering their progress.

Shoving his way through the seething bodies, Jaskier got close to Geralt and grabbed his wrist.

“Geralt, stop!” Geralt whipped his head around, eyes aflame. It took a moment for him to register that Jaskier was not a threat but his breath became ragged and he stood up, stumbling. 

“I don’t- Jaskier.” His words were slurred, as if he was drunk but Jasier knew better. 

“Grab my case, we’re leaving.” Jaskier hadn’t let go of Geralt’s wrist and practically dragged him, weaving between brawling bodies to the side door that led out into a back alley. He pulled him a few paces away from the door before letting him go. Geralt stalks away, one hand covering his face while the other balled into a fist at his side. Leaning against the building, Geralt pounded his fist once, twice, before he slumped down to the ground, both hands now covering his ears.

“What was that?” Jaskier had placed Little Eye back in her case, setting the whole thing gently on the ground close to Geralt as he crouched next to him. 

Geralt didn’t respond. His body had started to rock a little, his back hitting against the rough stone of the wall behind him. Jaskier could hear him muttering and held his breath to hear the words. He leans in closer, trying desperately to figure out how he could help.

He couldn’t hear much, only the same recurring words of ‘shadows’ and ‘they’re coming’. This sent chills down Jaskier’s spine and he started to babble himself, trying to bring Geralt back to him.

“Geralt, hey, shhh. Let’s calm down, together, okay? Just, uh...just...oh! Look up! Yeah? Let’s look up at the sky. You said that calms you down, hm?” Jaskier did his best, having never really been in the position of comforter. One hand was rubbing across Geralt’s shoulders while his other stroked circles into the bare skin of Geralt’s forearm. 

After a few moments it seemed to work, his voice cut through the demons Geralt was fighting and he looked out from his cage of fingers, finally looking up into the sky. The clouds hadn’t released their hold on the entire expanse of sky, but where the stars shone through was beautiful. Oxenfurt was more rural than other cities, allowing the stars to shine triumphantly through what light pollution there was.

“There, that’s it. We can sit here for a bit.” Not knowing what to do, Jaskier continued his ministrations until Geralt wordlessly stands. Jaskier stares at him for a moment until he stands too, and follows him silently back to the dorms.

  
  


“Do you want to talk about it?” Geralt hadn’t asked Jaskier to follow him all the way back to his room, but Jaskier had done so anyway. He hadn’t been pushed away or told to leave as he followed through his door so he’d stayed.

They’d sat quietly for a while, longer than Jaskier could remember actively being quiet, Geralt on the edge of his bed, face cradled in his hands. 

“Not particularly.” His voice was gruff, raw, like he’d been screaming even though Jaskier knew for a fact he hadn’t been.

Jaskier was quiet for another minute before something else occurred to him. “You told me that you like to look up at the sky to get away from what’s happening. Was that...did a therapist suggest that to you?”

Geralt doesn’t answer.

Holding his breath in case he’s told to fuck off, Jaskier tries again. “It’s okay if you really don’t want to talk about it. I can leave. I just know that, well I feel that if I knew the whole story, I could better help you.”

It’s quiet again, so quiet that Jaskier can hear his own heartbeat. Five minutes pass. Then ten.

The prolonged silence gives Jaskier reason to believe that he’s no longer wanted. He stands, accepting that he needs to leave. As he passes, Geralt’s hand grabs his wrist, encircling it in his warm grasp.

“I looked to the sky for comfort before I saw any therapist. It was the only place I could escape the hell I saw while in Nilfgaard. When I started seeing the therapist, I told her about the stars and she told me to continue that practice, that it was good that I had found a way to escape in a healthy manner.” His voice was soft and measured. It was as if he was reading lines from a script. Geralt gently pulled on Jaskier’s hand until the musician sat beside him.

“I was only supposed to be a driver at the border but when my commanding officer saw how well I did in combat training, they reassigned me.” He hadn’t released Jaskiers’ wrist, content to rub circles into the soft skin over his pulse as he talked. It took him a while to get through the whole story, or at least the parts he could relive to tell, but eventually, they got there together.

“We were out one day, doing a routine patrol when our truck blew up. When I came to, everyone else was dead. I was facedown in the dirt. It had clogged the wound and stopped the bleeding.” Jaskier was staring intently at Geralt’s face, taking in every word. He watched as Geralt absentmindedly touched the scar on his face; a constant reminder from his short time as a soldier.

“I had to make it back to base and it wasn’t easy. It was getting dark and I thought every shadow was an enemy and that I wouldn’t make it home alive. They immediately discharged me and I went home. My foster family didn’t have any rooms, they had already taken in another kid. Makes sense, I’d been gone for several years, so I stayed with Yen. Even though we’d been broken up for a long time, she’s been a great friend. She helped me go to therapy and held me on nights when I woke up screaming.” He took a long, shuddering breath, his eyes closed. His thumb had stilled on Jaskier’s skin and he missed the sensation immediately. 

“I just...I thought maybe I was ready and she, both of them, suggested coming to school, that getting back on my feet would be a good thing. Now I just see my failures here as a reflection of the failures throughout my life. I failed at being a suitable child, at even being one worthy of adoption. Finally become an adult and I fail at being a soldier. Fuck, I even fail at  _ sleeping _ .”

Jaskier uses his free hand to touch Geralt’s, to get his attention. Those bright eyes are sad when Geralt looks at him but it presses him on to speak.

“I think you’re rather brave to have come here. Honey, some people take years before trying to reacclimate back into society. You’ve taken such a big step. And you’re doing great. Honestly! Look at how well you’re doing in school. Your grades are remarkable and you’re an astounding student. I’m sorry that I dragged you to that place. I promise, never again.” He smiles at Geralt, a sweet, sad smile that Geralt eventually returns. His heart leaps and he can’t help himself.

“Is it okay if I hug you?”

Geralt halfway chuckles, releasing his wrist to usher Jaskier into his chest. Jaskier holds back from squealing like a tween and folds himself into Geralt’s embrace.

  
  


The weather had turned bitterly cold. Snow lay thick on the ground; the sky a constant blanket of clouds. Jaskier didn’t like it. He dragged Geralt out into town after the first night of snow to go shopping. The heaviest coat he owned still made him shiver and he wanted the opinion of the person who was quickly becoming his best friend. Best _ living _ friend at least.

“Why didn’t you pack a heavier coat? The snow we get at home is worse than this.”

“Because we were going  _ south _ , okay? I had hoped it was far enough that I didn’t need my thickest one.”

Geralt huffed and continued to walk on.

Geralt’s black-yes black- Carhartt was unzipped as they walked into town, the cold seemingly unbothering to him. Jaskier kept shooting him jealous glares, shivering in the cold. Geralt seemed to be in his own little world, staring around them at the way the snow blanketed everything they passed.

After having learned Geralt’s past, Jaskier was more attentive to his friend and the things that calmed him as well as what troubled or triggered him. Thankfully, the night at the bar had so far been the worst he’d seen him. Other times, he simply froze up and seemed far away until Jakier placed a gentle hand on his or started to hum quietly until he came out of it.

They had started to spend more time together, whether in the library studying or, before it got too cold, in the quad where Jaskier could strum on his guitar and Geralt could read without being bothered. 

It’s why it was no surprise that Geralt was actually observant and helpful when he and Jaskier relived the Pretty Woman boutique shopping scene. Geralt would quietly read something on his phone while Jaskier got changed, going whole hog in using this as an excuse to revitalize his wardrobe. Simply nodding or shaking his head when Jaskier walked out and struck a ridiculous pose seemed to be enough to make Jaskier’s day. He was smiling the whole time, especially when Geralt offered to help him carry his bags so that he could keep his hands shoved deep into the pockets of his new sky blue parka, complete with fur trim.

  
  


It’s why, two days later, Geralt was easily swayed when Jaskier called in a panic.

“The water froze in my building and a pipe burst. Do you mind if I stay with you until they fix it?” Jaskier could hear Geralt sigh over the phone. “I promise I won’t be a nuisance! I’ll even help you study!”

“No, Jaskier.”

“Please! They’re putting everyone up in other common areas with cots and stuff and you KNOW me without proper sleep and-”

“I meant no to the studying. Get your things, my door will be unlocked.”

Geralt hangs up immediately, not hearing the relieved noise that escapes Jaskier.

It’s no time before Geralt’s door swings open to reveal Jaskier with much more than Geralt expected he’d be carrying.

“I didn’t say you could move in. “

“Sorry, I honestly didn’t know how much to bring. I never know what I want to wear and they said it might be a few days before it’s fixed.” He throws everything on the empty bed and finally sees the look on Geralt’s face. “I hope that’s okay?”

Geralt sighs again, going back to his book on his desk. “Yeah, that’s fine.”

“Okay good. Wouldn’t want to wear out my welcome so soon!” Geralt rolls his eyes but his heart is warmed by Jaskier’s excitement and growth since they first met. He’d watched as Jaskier had taken his comforts into account, after that night at the bar, The musician had cared about Geralt more than he’d expected anyone outside of Yennefer to care.

They sat together in the quiet calm that seemed to command Geralt’s space. Geralt reads for amusement, having finished his homework long before Jaskier had showed up. He may care for his friend but he knew exactly how much work could get done when he was around.

Jaskier hummed quietly as he strummed on Little Eye, occasionally writing down words and chords in a notebook. This went on for over an hour, the same melody being played over and over until Geralt’s curiosity got the best of him.

He sits his book down, turning to Jaskier. He sees how comfortable he is on the other bed, a loose shirt falling from one shoulder, legs drawn up onto the bed in a pair of soft looking sweats. Geralt knows by now that Jaskier wouldn’t be caught dead in his current outfit, taking pleasure in the fact that he was comfortable around him. 

“What is it that you’re playing? You’ve been working on that for quite a while.”

It takes a moment for Jaskier to look up, the task at hand completely eclipsing the real world from his mind. “Oh, uh, it’s for class. I have to finish a song before the holiday break. It’s part of my final.”

Geralt grunts affirmation. “Can I...would it help if you played it out loud?”

Jaskier’s cheeks colored and a smile sprouted on his face. “You want to hear it? Like really? You’re not just humoring me?”

Crossing his arms over his chest, Geralt smirks. “I won’t if you don’t let it go to your head. Just play the damn song.”

Jaskier’s grin gets wider and he quietly tells himself to calm down before getting situated, turning his body more towards Geralt. The tempo is a little more sped up from when he was humming it to himself, the chords and pitch falling into place better than when he was singing to himself. It was more upbeat than Geralt imagined the final product would be, but knew from previous discussions that a musician's first draft and final draft of a song could be drastically different. He listened intently, barely containing his urge to tap a foot along to the rhythm. 

Jaskier’s voice was like silk, folding around each word and note, tucking Geralt into the moment.

“What fun is

This fire that burns

So bright

If I must

Inside myself hide

If it’s my nature

To love you

Then let my words

Be a commotion

So you can see

The exact emotion

Within this young heart.

If I must gooo

Down this rooooad

And follow every footstep

I’ll be out of my depth 

Swimmin’ till my last breath

But I

Don’t mind

As long as I

Can stay

And be with you”

  
  


It’s quiet for a few moments, Jaskier’s fingers strumming Little Eye out until the words lose their ring in the air. He sits there, staring down at the fretboard, cheeks warm as he waits for Geralt to berate him for the obvious intent behind his words. 

“That sounds...lovely actually.”

Jaskier’s heart skips a beat and he meets Geralt’s eyes. “You think so?”

Geralt huffs. “Better than Valdo Marx at least. He’s pompous and struts around campus like he’s already famous. Confidence is one thing, but being an asshole is completely different.”

Jaskier chuckles, relieved that Geralt either didn’t pick up on the fact that  _ he _ was the object of his affections or that he simply wrote a generic love song.

“Yeah, it’s not finished yet. Still have a few more verses.”

Geralt nods once, not even pretending to know more about music and song composition than he actually does. “Okay, well, how about we break and go get dinner?”

Jaskier beams at the idea, making Geralt wait until he changes into ‘suitable dining attire’. Geralt just smiles, waiting patiently.

*** 

They’re on their way back to the dorms, Jaskier clinging to Geralt after having nearly fallen on the icy sidewalk in town, when he spots a couple of students out on the quad throwing snowballs.

“Hey Geralt? You wanna have a little fun?” His voice is saccharine sweet, his eyes blue chips of mischief. 

“What could possibly be fun out here? If I’m cold I know you’ve got to be freezing.” 

“I dunno, maybe...a snowball fight?” Jaskier releases Geralt’s arm, leaning down to scoop up some snow in his gloved hands, gaining distance from Geralt in preparation to throw it. Geralt did not look pleased but Jaskier was sure he wasn’t all that perturbed. He’d seen him annoyed and he’d seen him absolutely pissed and this time was closer to the former.

He held his hands up in surrender, hoping Jaskier would give up immediately. “Jaskier, don’t do this. I mean it!”

Jaskier cackled maniacally, stepping closer to Geralt who backpedaled expertly. He didn’t often step down from a fight but this was not something he cared to lose.

“Come on Geralt! We haven’t enjoyed the snow since we got it!”

“Yeah, cause I, for one, don’t want to get sick!”

“As if. I don’t think you’ve ever been sick a day in your life!” Jaskier continues to advance, the snowball perfectly round in his grip.

“Because I don’t get soaked in the middle of winter. Jaskier, please, we can do whatever else you want as soon as we get-”

Jaskier let’s the snowball fly.

Geralt dodges and Jaskier lunges for more snow.

“Come on Geralt! Just throw a snowball! Just a couple minutes, it’s not going to hurt you!” 

Geralt sighs. “You know what? If it’s going to get you inside quicker…” Geralt bends, gathering snow into a huge ball of snow, intent on giving Jaskier what he wants. 

Jaskier cheers on the inside, seeing that he was the one to get Geralt to let his hair down, so to speak.

“See? Not so ha-” Jaskier’s words are cut off as he runs toward Geralt, slips on a patch of ice and falls straight on his back.

Geralt erupts in laughter, dropping his mound of snow, before making his way over to his companion.

“I told you not to. Now look at you.” Geralt hovers above him, half his face shadowed in the dark but Jaskier can see the smirk on his face. He smiles as Geralt hoists him back to his feet and leads him back to his dorm.

*** 

Jaskier grabs his things and immediately retreats to the showers, sauntering back in in just his bathrobe; not even allowing anyone on Geralt’s floor to see him in his ratty loungewear. No one but him that is. 

“Come on, let’s get cozy. It might be chilly outside but it’s warm in here. Well...now that I’ve warmed my backside at least. Scoot over.” Geralt rolls his eyes, but relents and makes room for Jaskier who plops himself on the bed. He makes himself comfortable, shimmying under the covers, situating his computer atop the duvet and searching for something for them to watch. “It’s almost Christmas sooooo let’s pick somethiiiiing- oh! Here. What about Klaus?”

“Klaus?”

“Yeah! It’s like us! A big man with white hair, silent, but a heart of gold and a uh, well a shorter, more annoying brunette. They have adventures that make Christmas what it is! Cute, huh?” Jaskier looks over at him with shining blue eyes and Geralt can’t help but shrug, just to make him happy.

“Okay. I guess it’ll do.”

“Yes! Let the adorableness begin!” He shifts back under the covers, trying his best not to take up too much space so that Geralt won’t feel claustrophobic. Geralt relaxes after the first 15 minutes, sagging back into his pillow, allowing himself to zone out and just get lost in the movie.

It’s not even that late when the movie ends but Geralt is tired and says as much.

“Yeah, I guess going to bed early won’t be the end of the world.” They go to the communal bathroom, Jaskier humming his song as they brush their teeth. 

It was nice, having someone to share little moments of your day with. Usually when he went to do any bathroom business, he was always alone, humming or singing to himself, sometimes with people telling him to cut it out. Now, no one dared say that to him while he was in the presence of Geralt. He was the White Wolf of the campus. An oddity that no one dared say anything against, or even about. He liked it.

It was even nicer when he got to say good night to his friend from across the space of an empty room, less comfortable in his cold bed with spare blankets. It was still nice however hearing a quiet “good night Jaskier” in response to his “good night big guy”. He fell asleep with a smile on his face. 

*** 

  
  


He awoke in a panic, bleary eyed from sleep and jolting from the bed. 

“Geralt. Geralt, what is that!” Jaskier is up, clicking on the lamp between them to find that the noise reminiscent of monster under a boys bed are actually Geralt gnashing his teeth and doing his best to impersonate a rabid dog.

Stunned, Jaskier hesitates, unsure of what to do. Eventually, his feet unfreeze from the floor and he makes his way over to Geralt’s bed. He could tell this was a night terror, brought on by his PTSD, but knowing what was happening didn’t help him understand how to help his friend. 

Cautiously, Jaskier reaches a hand out, placing it on Geralt’s shoulder. It garners little attention; Jaskier calling his name has the same effect. Finally, Jaskier clenches his fist into Geralt’s shirt, intending to shake him awake.

Geralt’s eyes fly open and lock onto Jaskiers’. There’s no recognition, only fire, and before Jaskier knows it, he’s pulled down onto the bed, grappling with Geralt who gets the upper hand fairly quickly, pulling Jaskier beneath him, teeth bared and eyes wild. 

“Geralt! Geralt listen, it’s me, Jaskier! I’m your friend! I’m not going to hurt you!” There are tears in his eyes. He’s not scared for himself, just scared that his friend is hurting and that he’s not doing enough. 

Geralt’s got one of his fists wrapped around Jaskier’s wrist, pinning him to the bed, while the other rears back. Not knowing what else to do, Jakier places his free hand on Geralt’s cheek, cradling his face. The pad of his thumb drags softly across his bottom lip, a chaste caress he hopes is as unthreatening as he intends it. Geralt stills for a moment, grows silent long enough for Jaskier to start singing a slowed down version of the song he’d sang for him earlier.

It’s enough to calm Geralt further, for his shoulders to sag and his mind to clear from the haze his dreams had him in. He blinks a few times, citrine irises finally focusing on the scene he’s in. 

He immediately drops his fist, removing his hand from Jaskier and sitting back.

“Jaskier?” 

Jaskier doesn’t move, only watches Geralt with a soft smile on his face, still softly singing.

“Jaskier what are you doing? You should’ve just called security.”

“Hey, sh, calm down. It’s okay. I’m okay. You stopped, everything’s fine.”

“You don’t understand, this is why I don’t have a roommate anymore. He tried to wake me up the first time it happened, only a couple of nights into the semester.” There’s hair falling in his face as he pinches the bridge of his nose. He listens to Jaskier’s quiet singing, slowing his breath down to match the tempo of the song which had been slowed considerably from its original pace.

He opens his eyes when Jaskier just starts to hum, can see that Jaskier has closed his eyes. 

“Jaskier?”

“Hm?” The brunet doesn’t open his eyes, merely makes a grabbing motion with his hands.

“Jaskier, why are you still here? You should return to your own dorm. It’s not safe...I’m dangerous to be around.”

Jaskier opens his eyes, blue staring into yellow. Geralt decides he looks pretty lying on his pillow, his hair fanned out around him.

“I’m still here for the same reason that I was still there outside of the bar. I’m not going to leave you. You’re my friend Geralt, and you’re no more dangerous right now than someone lurking on campus at night ready to take advantage of little old me. I’m sure that with me here tonight, you won’t have the night terrors again.”

Geralt huffs, wanting to argue, but instead, he turns the light off and settles in next to Jaskier. There’s not a lot of room on the twin bed, but they make it work. Geralt is stiff as Jaskier wraps himself around his body, being careful not to place hands where they may be unwelcome. He only allows sleep to take him once Jaskier’s limbs are heavy with sleep, breath slow and steady.

Terrors do not wake them again.

*** 

  
  


“He told you? Well I’m glad you were there to calm him down.” Jaskier had called Yennefer after he woke up to Geralt extricating himself from the bed. He’d slept like a baby; no more night terrors had Geralt moving a muscle after they’d fallen asleep after his episode. 

Geralt had slipped off to the showers, he’d taken his shave kit with him, so Jaskier knew he’d have enough time to at least relay all that had happened to their mutual friend. 

“I just don’t know why you didn’t tell me in the first place.”

“It’s not like he’s a monster that you needed to be warned about. I knew you weren’t going to set him off or anything. It’s his business and like I said before, he asked me not to say anything to anyone so I didn’t. He told me you two were becoming close so I figured it might happen eventually anyway. I just didn’t realize how soon.” Her words were barbed, first with concern for Geralt and then what sounded like jealousy at Jaskier. Trying not to read into it, Jaskier shook it off, sighing as he continued the conversation.

“I didn’t say he was a- look. I’m sure he told you about the bungle at the bar-”

“No, actually he didn’t.” 

“Oooooh. Well. Long story short- because I didn’t know he had PTSD, I forced him to come watch me sing at a bar and there was an incident.”

“He’s a grown man, he could’ve said no,  _ should’ve _ said no obviously. Jaskier, please don’t baby him. He’s not a pet project. I learned that a long time ago. Just be there for him when and if he needs you, but he’s got to learn to traverse life alone sometimes.” 

Jaskier softly agrees and they’re off the phone before Geralt returns. He’s still damp from the shower, shirt clinging to the muscles he’d worked to keep from all that time training. Jaskier could feel his cheeks tinge with color and excused himself to the bathroom to ready himself for another exciting day at Oxenfurt. 

*** 

Jaskier finishes his song, or at least a version of the song, before Christmas break, his professor passing him with high praises. He’d helped Geralt study, quizzing him on Chemistry and reading over his final essay for Sociology. He’d written a compelling piece on how people with different disabilities weren’t always treated fair in the world, suggesting throughout different and simple ways in which these adjustments could be made. 

Jaskier had been impressed and was happy that Geralt seemed to be a lot more open with him now than he ever had been before. 

When they returned home for the holiday, there hadn’t been much communication. Jaskier’s parents had demanded most of his attention as payment for tuition and an excuse to fill up their parenting meter. He relented, texting Geralt throughout the days until they met back up two days before classes started back to head back to the school.

His parents had asked the usual: what classes he was taking, had he written any songs this past semester, would he play anything he’d learned. He’d played a couple covers on Christmas Eve, keeping the song he’d sang to Geralt for himself. He’d taken to calling it “White Wolf Lullaby”, having named it after taming Geralt the night he’d seemed so feral. It had calmed him, thus he continued to tweak it until it evolved into what the title more closely resembled. 

They had only met once while home, to exchange gifts. Jaskier had given Geralt a pendant with a wolf head on it, something with a smooth back and a long chain. “Kind of like a worry stone you can keep next to your heart.” 

He’d given Yennefer a handmade necklace, the stone hand carved into a delicate star that hung from a velvet ribbon. They’d both liked their gifts, both putting them around their necks as soon as the wrapping had been disposed of. 

They’d both gotten Jaskier gift cards for his favorite clothing and music shops, knowing how picky he could be. He had of course loved them, excitedly exclaiming that they were all to go on a shopping spree the next time they were in town.

With the holiday over, Jaskier could feel his insides start to bubble and churn as he awaited Yennefer to deposit Geralt on his doorstep.

The next time they saw each other, Jaskier could feel the tension in the air as he hugged Yennefer goodbye. She seemed off, her smile plastic as she wished them happy travels before getting back into her own car and driving off just as quickly as she’d arrived. It seemed strange to Jaskier but he figured he’d get the full story eventually. 

On the road, Geralt was quieter, much like when they’d first made this trip. He stared out the window at the fresh snow that had laid its head down in the fields of their small town. Jaskier didn’t want to pry, but his skin was crawling with the incessant want to know what had happened.

“How was your holiday? I’m sorry we haven’t talked as much. Parents wanted all my energy.”

Geralt grunted unintelligibly, continuing to stare out the window.

Jaskier sighed. “Geralt, you must know by now that you can tell me anything. I’m not running away.”  _ I love you. _ Jaskier blinked in his own surprise. He hadn’t said it out loud, hadn’t even meant to say it internally. He swallowed, tightening his hands on the steering wheel. Well if he hadn’t already pretended not to know that his crush had developed into something full fledged, he knew now.

He heard Geralt sigh, and peeked over at him. He’d moved his hand to his shirt, fiddling with the pendant Jaskier had given him for Christmas. On the one hand, he was happy that Geralt seemed to take comfort in having it, while on the other, he didn’t like knowing that something about this was upsetting Geralt to the point where he felt the need to use the makeshift worry stone.

“When I returned home the first time, there was no room for me. My family was happy to see me; they gave me gifts and we ate Christmas Eve dinner together, but I felt like an outsider. I stayed with Yennefer most of the time. It wasn’t any better honestly.”

Jaskier reached out his right hand, placing it gently on Geralt’s. “You could’ve stayed with me.”

Geralt shook his head. “Something’s changed...not...not between us. Just, everyone around me is...acting like I’m a bomb about to go off. Yennefer was mad about something and wouldn’t tell me and my family…” He sighs again, the tone of it sounding to Jaskier as if the whole world weighed on his shoulders. Which, he imagined, Geralt felt like most of the time.

“Oh. I’m sorry. That sounds….like it sucks.” 

“Yeah.” 

They’re quiet for a while, the radio the only sound between them. Jaskier had yet to take him hand back and Geralt didn’t seem to mind.

*** 

  
  


By the time classes had started, Jaskier had moved all of his things to Geralt’s room. The white haired man did not mind in the least, even if he had protested at first. His roommate hadn’t cared, loving that he had a single now, so he hadn’t informed anyone in the office. No one on Geralt’s floor seemed to care either. Some of them actually enjoyed Jaskier’s singing in the shower and he suspected they knew who he was friends with and kept quiet otherwise.

“I already know what I’m getting into so don’t try using your night terrors as an excuse to try and run me off!” 

Geralt had rolled his eyes, sitting at his desk while he read a book, but there had been a small smile on his lips as Jaskier had piled his stuff in the closet and at the other desk. The first couple of days back seemed to go well, during the day at least. 

At night, Jaskier was getting used to waking in the middle of the night, much like a newborn parent. At the least sound from Geralt’s side of the room, Jaskier was up, feeling his way through the dark to Geralt’s bedside. He would slip beneath the covers, petting Geralt’s back or chest, humming quietly until the shivers wracking Geralt’s body subsided. 

It wasn’t an every night occurrence. Some nights, Jaskier slept soundly, and he assumed Geralt did too. There were some nights that Jaskier would fall to sleep humming the lullaby with no arguments from Geralt. Those were the nights they seemed to sleep the best.

Even though he could take care of Geralt during the night, Jaskier could still feel that tension that had come with them from home during Geralt’s waking hours. He was always tense, always on guard, and it hurt Jaskier. Geralt was home, away from the things that had caused him such grief; that had stolen his life in a way different from death. 

Jaskier sought out to show Geralt that he was special. That he could still find beauty in the mundane. After asking around to some people he usually didn’t speak to, Jaskier was able to trade some cash for a set of keys to the library. It was the most outrageous thing he’d done- well, since he’d been at Oxenfurt at least- and it gave him a thrill. He had already begun to compose a new song in the back of his mind as he walked into town, alone for once, while Geralt was in class. 

He had to do this part alone too. He bought all the things he could think of that would make the evening as amazing as he hoped it would be. His family’s money was well spent, he thought, as he grabbed a wicker basket, white candles, a box of matches, all kinds of cheeses, cured meats and fruit. He was going for a Medieval picnic and pulled out all the stops to make it happen.

It was Friday so the library didn’t close for students until 6 which was about the time when Geralt would be getting out of his Chemistry lab. Jaskier decided that he would tempt fate and set up the picnic before the library closed, hoping like hell that the librarian wouldn’t go checking through the stacks on the second floor once he’d left. He set it up strategically so that when one was walking down the end of the rows, the majority of the set up would be blocked by the book shelves. The only thing he didn’t do was light the candles, he didn’t want to tempt fate  _ that _ bad.

He hummed as he neared the door, the basket still in hand as he couldn’t very well leave it; the librarian had seen him walk in with it.

“Have a lovely weekend Mr. Jonne! Looks like the snow will be beautiful!”

Jaskier’s smile brightened as the old librarian grumbled and waved, not looking up from his book. He was drowning in an oversize wool sweater, his scarf covering the lower half of his face. The person Jaskier had gotten the keys off of had mentioned that Mr. Jonne hated the snow and would undoubtedly lock up as soon as the last person left the library. Jaskier had made sure the older man had seen him enter, just as he did now upon his exit. 

Jaskier waited patiently around the corner, out of sight from the library entrance. Less than five minutes later, he heard the door open and close, a heavy  _ thunk _ as the deadbolt on the door was turned and the grumbling of Mr. Jonne as he left the building.

He waited another few minutes, just to make sure Mr. Jonne wouldn’t come back for anything he’d left, before sidling up to the door and letting himself in. It was cold inside, much like it always was, but it seemed even colder with the lights off and not another living soul inside. 

It was snowing again, pretty, iridescent flakes that drifted lazily to the ground. Jaskier got distracted once or twice as he quietly moved things around, thankful that the light from the lanterns outside cast their glow far enough upwards that he could see what he was doing. The view was incrediblel and Jaskier knew immediately that he had done something wonderful.

Jaskier had texted Geralt to meet him outside the library once he’d taken his books back to their dorm. He watched now through the heavy wood and glass doors as a figure came into the light, melting from the shadows. He saw Geralt glancing around, looking for him and felt his heart swell.

“Geralt, hey!” Jaskier tried to keep his voice low enough so that anyone within earshot would be none the wiser. Although, with the snow falling on a Friday, he was pretty confident that no one was outside in the first place. 

Geralt looked up in surprise, the worry on his face turning quizzical as he approached the door.

“What are you doing Jaskier?” Geralt sighed, knowing in an instant that Jaskier had done something he probably shouldn’t have.

“Okay, so, you can’t be mad. I did this for you, okay?”

“Jaskier?”

“Would you please just get in here?” Jaskier pulls Geralt inside, pausing to swallow passed the lump in his throat when the larger man bumps right into his chest and they fumble for space in the doorway. 

“Uh, if you’ll just follow me.” Jaskier smiles broadly, hoping Geralt can’t actually hear how hard his heart is beating. 

He takes him through the lobby and up the stairs to the second level. He’d lit the candles right before heading downstairs to wait on Geralt, so the flames were casting a beautiful glow on the scene he’d made. He’d bought a new blanket for the occasion. It was beautifully hand woven, a simple cream color that held true to the aesthetic he had wished to achieve. The basket now sat to the side, the bottle of sparkling juice he’d purchased peeking out the top. (He had wanted to buy an actual bottle of wine but remembered that he had still never seen Geralt drink and had not wanted any of his effort to make Geralt uncomfortable). 

He’d used linen napkins to set the food out on, having not gone quite far enough to buy a platter that he would most definitely never use again. The candles were placed around the space, mostly around the edge of the blanket. The snow and lights of the school through the window looked enchanting, perfectly framing his vision.

“Jaskier.” Geralt breathed. Jaskier looked to him, his grin turning bashful at the look Geralt had fixed him with.

“Do you like it?”

“What...what is it? Are you asking what I think? Do you have someone coming-”

“No!” Jaskier’s outburst startled both of them and he quickly gathered himself. “No, this is uh...this is for you. I wanted you to see that you’re special. That you’re worth all the effort in the world.” He stepped forward, ushering Geralt to take a seat.

“Jaskier this is….this is beautiful and...and thoughtful. I don’t know what to say.”

“Nothing needs to be said, honestly cause you better be stuffing your face with the best meat and cheese I could find.” Jaskier takes a seat himself, reaching to grab the bottle from the basket, pouring each of them some before he delves in himself. 

It’s quiet for a time, outside of Jaskier’s phone where he had a playlist of soft, sweet music playing. 

“It reminds me of you, in a way.” Jaskier is the first to speak and it takes him a moment to realize that what he said had been aloud so that his companion could hear it.

“Yeah? How so?” Jaskier’s cheeks were ablaze and he cursed the smirk on Geralt’s lips.

“Well, you’ve got those brilliant white locks, just like the snow. You’ve got this icy demeanor, much like being outside, but once you warm up to someone, you’re lovely. Your eyes, my goodness, they’re bright like the stars. Such a beautiful shade too. And there’s a darkness about you...but a hopeful light too.” Jaskier realizes he’s been rambling, and continues to stare out the window at the landscape before them.

Jaskier can practically hear Geralt grinning and turns to him in a flurry. “What?” 

“Nothing. I just never thought someone could find beauty in...this.”

Jaskier snorts. “Listen, people have always found you attractive, because you are. Anyone who says otherwise is a liar. But that’s not beauty. Beauty is the person inside, the person you’ve grown to be. Anyone can be beautiful on the surface; it takes a special person to be beautiful on the inside.”

“Never knew you felt that way about me.” Geralt chuckles as he places a dried fig in his mouth and chews.

Jaskier’s level of fluster is the highest he’s ever experienced and he just blurts out “I never said I did!” without taking in the way Geralt sat close to him, the way the tension had left him completely. He didn’t take into account that he could have had a very romantic and easy time telling Geralt just how he felt. 

*** 

  
  


It’s February and Jaskier has found himself someone to take his mind off of his feelings for Geralt. He’d been wrong in the past and instead of mess up what he already had with him, he had taken the initiative to find someone to fill his time. 

He’d found Priscilla, a girl a year older than himself in another music class. He had heard some of her work as she’d played outside on one of the warmest days they’d had since before Christmas break. He’d been passing by and had dusted off his charm and invited her to dinner with him on Valentine’s day. 

Jaskier now stood before Geralt, buttoning his black shirt the rest of the way, layering the deep red suit jacket he’d bought for the occasion over top. 

“You look nice. Where are you taking her?” Geralt lounged on his bed, stretched out in a way that had made Jaskier steer his eyes away from that side of the room in hopes of keeping an awkward boner from ruining everything. 

“Thank you, Geralt. I’m taking her to a nice Italian restaurant in town. She informed me that she dislikes dinner and movie dates so after dinner and she’s up for it, we’ll walk along River Street until we get to that nice little coffee shop on the south end where we’ll have hot chocolate. I shall then escort her home and be on my merry way.” 

“Do you think you’ll have to sneak out of another window?”

“Hey, hey, hey! My window sneakin’ days are behind me! How did you even know?”

Geralt shrugged. “Yen told me that it may be an issue. Figured I might need to bail you out.”

Jaskier scoffed, turning fully to Geralt. “Well let me assure you, Priscilla is in a sorority so I don’t think it will actually be a problem this time.”

“What about the house mother? If I’m asleep when you call needing a distraction, you might be left to freeze outside.”

“Rude!”

*** 

Geralt is still awake when Jaskier stumbles in through the door, half dressed and disheveled. He’s lost the black shirt, the red jacket doing little to cover the dark hair that covered his chest. He was limping and Geralt noticed that not only were his socks missing, but so was a large section of his pants near the ankle of his left foot.

“How’d it go?”

“How’d it-” Jaskier stops in disbelief, pinching the bridge of his nose as he takes a deep breath in, letting it out as he starts to undress himself. “Safe to say that I’m no longer allowed at the sorority house anymore.”

“House mother?”

Jaskier laughs maniacally. “Actually no! She was the reason I made it out of the house alive!”

Geralt quirks a brow, his book lying forgotten across his chest. 

Jaskier rolls his eyes as he fights to get a clean night shirt over his head. “I not only slept with Priscilla, but her roommate while Priscilla went for a quick rinse in the shower. Needless to say, she was not happy and promptly threw me out the window.”

“So you did have to sneak out a window.”

“No,  _ no _ . Okay so, it was the house mother who found me as I was crossing in front of her window and tried to help me. Unfortunately, my shoes were in my hand so my bare feet slipped when her window flew open it scared me and I went tumbling into the bushes.”

“So the bushes ruined your pants?”

“Wrong again! One of the sisters’ has a brother who needed her to watch the dog over the weekend and she apparently doesn’t like men outside of her owner.”

Geralt chuckled at the petulant look on Jaskier’s face as he fought to get comfortable in his own bed.

“You could’ve called me. After all you’ve done for me, you couldn’t have actually thought I would leave you to fend for yourself.”

Jaskier huffed. “I would’ve but I didn’t have time. By the time the house mother was driving me home I was already fine. Enough at least.”

Geralt rolled his eyes but there was an affectionate smile on his face as he turned the light off, plunging them both into darkness.

*** 

  
  


“I think I’m in love with Geralt.”

Jaskier was sitting in the library, knees drawn up to his chest as he sat in one of the armchairs in the library. It was a few weeks later, after the weather had finally had its last cold spell. Monday morning had dawned and Jaskier was finally able to admit what he felt for Geralt. It wasn’t  _ to _ Geralt of course. He’d just left Geralt, alone and probably a tad confused.

He’d woken in a panic when, instead of Jaskier clinging to Geralt in optimal octopus fashion, it was Geralt who was tangled around Jaskier, his front pressed to Jaskier’s back, the rest of his body pressed….

His cheeks burned now just thinking about it.

He’d dressed hastily, not saying anything to a groggy Geralt who looked absolutely perfect in the first morning sunshine in weeks. He’d made a quick escape with Little Eye, hoping the missing instrument would allow Geralt to piece together some sort of excuse.

“You _ think _ ?” Yennefer’s voice over the phone, although tired, carried into the empty library. He had used his keys to sneak in, locking it behind himself, hoping that Mr. Jonne wouldn’t check for anyone since no one  _ should _ be inside. He’d make up an excuse later if need be.

“Scratch that, I  _ know _ that I’m in love with him.”

He could imagine Yennefer shaking her head, trying to wrap her mind around the possibility.

“How-when-”

“Well, I used to have a crush on him in high school-”

“Wait, what? I’m severely decaffeinated and confused.”

“Well, when we were in high school, I had a crush on him. You know how it goes. Freshman goes to the big game, sees the big hunky guy, immediately becomes infatuated. But, I always saw you two together and knew it would never happen. Anyway, that was years ago, I got over it but now we’re really good friends and I don’t want him to hate me but it’s getting harder waking up next to him and not being able to tell him how I feel.” His words were a rush and he sat now taking in large breaths, trying to ignore the burning in his eyes.

“Wait, wait, wait. Have you guys been-”

“No, of course not. It’s his night terrors. He said you’d stay with him when he woke up so I just- when he wakes up I comfort him and just fall asleep with him. Nothing scandalous.”

“Oh Jask, honey. I’d stay awake until he fell asleep and then I’d go back to my own bed. I haven’t slept in the same bed as him in years.”

Jaskier can feel all the color drain from his face. He sits there silently, at a loss for words for one of the few times in his life.

“Jask?”

“I’m still here.” His voice isn’t much above a whisper and he coils into himself further. His thoughts start to spiral and he can feel a panic start to set it.

“Hey.” Yennefer’s voice is soft. “I think you should tell him how you feel.”

Jaskier actually laughs. “But what if he hates me?”

“By the sound of it, he doesn’t hate you. But he  _ is _ emotionally constipated and may think the exact same thing that you are.”

*** 

  
  


By the end of the week, Jaskier’s class is informed of the upcoming student recital.

“It’s a place where the music students can show off their talents, we can grade the practical portion of your grade, as well as the other students get to unwind after their own finals. I want you all to present your best work, seeing as this is the biggest part of your grade. I will be drawing your names randomly and assigning you your slots in the show. As always, Freshmen will perform first.”

Jaskier was excited. He was a natural in front of a crowd. 

He had also been thinking about revealing his feelings for Geralt through song. He’d wanted to come up with a whole new work, considering the first one had already been sung a hundred times already, however, he couldn’t come up with the right words to say.

Not to mention that after last time Geralt was more likely to skip this show.

Although he was excited, Jaskier sighed at the prospect of performing a more pop sounding melody he had come up with after his escapade on Valentine’s Day. He was sure it would garner some humor as well as become a classic college tune he hoped would live on in the minds of his peers for years to come.

He was hopeful, the spring back in his step. It hadn’t been there as often recently, not since talking to Yennefer and finally admitting his feelings to someone other than himself. He’d still comforted Geralt when he needed him, still hung out, he’d just done so at more of a distance than before.

Jaskier wasn’t entirely sure why he had yet to tell Geralt he loved him. Fear played a big part, of course, but he was also feeling apprehension and unsure of if he really wanted things to change. He’d never been good at relationships and just because two people liked each other didn’t mean they would be able to work together. 

Yennefer had of course told him he was being stupid. She never hesitated to call him out, and he honestly loved her for it. He figured he would just wait for the right moment, for a sign from Geralt.

Later that evening, when Geralt was having trouble studying for finals and forgetting things, he’d called Jaskier, asking for his help.

“Oh, so you’re finally calling me in to help you study? Finally realized that I’m good at things other than just music?”

“No, look, I’m in a study group after my lab but I forgot my notes. Can you run them to me?”

Jaskier sighed long and low. “Ugh, fiiiine. After your late lab?”

“Yeah. I’ll be back to the dorm before dark though. You won’t have to worry about being alone tonight.”

Cheeks flaring red, Jaskier sucked in a breath and willed himself to calm down. Ever since the morning he’d called Yennefer, he’d done his best to wake up before Geralt, sliding out from the tangle of limbs to go take his showers before anyone else. He didn’t like mornings but he  _ especially _ didn’t like morning wood without being able to properly take care of it.

“Shut up. I hate you. Stop being mean or I’m not bringing your notes and your classmates will start calling you Grizzled Geralt.” He hung up at the sound of Geralt’s quiet laughter but couldn’t bring himself to abandon his friend.

This didn’t keep him from grumbling the entire time, however.

Jaskier is rummaging around at Geralt’s desk, trying to find his Chemistry lab notebook. There’s a stack of books on the edge of the desk, closer to his bed since the nerd liked to study before bed sometimes. It was so precariously stacked that when Jaskier bent over to extract the edge of the green notebook from where it must have fallen between the bed and desk, his elbow collided with the stack, sending notebooks, books and loose papers flying.

“Aw, shit!” Jaskier groans and falls to his knees to clean up his mess. He really didn’t want to, had it been his last roommate he probably would’ve just left it. But no, it was Geralt and he couldn’t.

He was piling sheets of paper together, making them all straight to stack on the desk, when his eyes came across a smaller notebook he hadn’t seen before. It had fallen open, page down. The front cover had flipped to meet with the back and he could see the first page.

In beautiful script, there sat Yennefer’s name and instructions.

_ Geralt, _

__ _ Don’t let the world get to you too much. Use this to write your feelings down when you feel overwhelmed. If you ever need help getting through something, don’t hesitate to call me.  _

  
  
  


Oh.

_ OH _ .

Geralt had a journal and Jaskier….Jaskier was nosy.

He immediately drops what he was holding and begins to unabashedly flip through Geralt’s journal. The beginning was exactly what he thought: a lot of dark and angry thoughts. Half formed sentences that were crossed out until sometimes it was the entire page. 

The dates had started way before school had even started, probably about the time Geralt had started going to therapy. The further along Jaskier read, the calmer and more pleasant the thoughts got.

_ I can’t just do as I please, but it’s easier knowing some people are there to make sure I get up. _

_ It’s hard knowing and not knowing at the same time. I don’t think he knows what he’s doing. _

Was that about him or the new English professor Geralt had had last semester?

_ I just feel so small in the vast ocean that is his love.  _

Oh. 

OH.

Jaskier devoured the rest of the page, his heart beating double time as he consumed Geralt’s thought about the person he was almost completely sure was himself.

_ It’s love like I’ve never known before.  _

_ Not only did he practically move in with me but that song he sings, I think it might be about me. When he first played it I thought he’d just made it up but after tonight, after that picnic...I’m not so sure.  _

_ Even if he’s not, even if I’m reading too much into it, I think I love him.  _ _ Maybe not romantically.  _ _ I’d like to be romantic and I try, at least I think I do.  _

Jaskier skips to the morning he’d called Yennefer, seeing if he’d written anything about him there.

He had.

_ I woke up and it felt so nice finally wrapping my arms around someone instead of being the one needing comfort. He smelled good, like apples maybe, kind of herby.  _

_ I think I messed up. Jaskier was gone when I woke up, I think he was running out of the door, I may have dreamt it. But he’s usually there when I wake up. His guitar is gone though so maybe he just got a sudden rush of inspiration. _

  
  


Jaskier is so engrossed in Geralt’s words that the ringing of his phone almost gives him a heart attack. He throws the book away from himself, as if Geralt himself had walked through the door and caught him.

Thankfully, it was only Geralt calling, wondering if he’d found the notes or not.

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll be right there.” Jaskier flicks through all the notebooks until he actually finds what he was looking for in the first place, and bolts out the door.

When he gets to the lab building, he can see the group sitting underneath the shade tree, everyone’s notes in a semi circle around them, being held down with anything and everything. He spots Geralt immediately, because of course he does, and his face turns red.

Geralt is sitting a little apart from the group, looking down at another set of notes he must’ve had on him. There’s strands of hair falling in his face and he’s rolled up the sleeves on his shirt. His arms look powerful and Jaskier can feel his palms start to sweat which makes him think about what Geralt had written about him smelling good. 

He’s almost to him when Geralt turns and smiles at him.

“Jask, hey thanks. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” 

Jaskier smiles, embarrassed, and tries not to look around him at the people that are undoubtedly staring at the two of them. At least he thinks they are. He checks using peripherals- yep. There they are. Someone’s smiling, someone is frowning. He’s taking up their time. He’s annoying them and he hasn’t even  _ spoken _ yet.

Jaskier tries to get his chaotic thoughts under control and trips a bit as he backs away.

“Uh, yeah, no problem. I’ll just...uhm...got a song I’ve got to work on.” His retreat is hasty and he makes it back to their dorm in record time, sweating and breathing so hard he thinks his head might explode. 

Back against the door, Jaskier looks at the mess on the floor. He can see the small black journal peeking out from where it had slid under the edge of Geralt’s bed, and gets an idea. Quickly picking up the mess, Jaskier feels horrible as he takes pictures of the journal entries on his phone before sliding the journal back in with the rest of the notebooks.He grabs Little Eye, his own notebook and is back out the door, melodies already playing in his head.

*** 

It’s the day of the show and Jaksier is  _ nervous. _ He’s never been nervous to go on before a crowd and halfway wishes Geralt wouldn’t show up. But then his whole plan would be bust and-

“Jaskier! You’re up! Last slot for the freshman, knock it out of the park!” Jaskier’s professor is all smiles, eyes beaming at him. He had loved the lullaby and the other song he had  _ intended _ to play. Jaskier hoped beyond hope that what he was about to do didn’t blow up in his face.

Some of the students had formed small groups together, anchoring the feeling of a band to the music being performed. Jaskier had worked with a group briefly the past week and was confident of their skill, he was just no longer confident of his own. His voice squeaked at first as he sidled up to the mic, Little Eye strapped around him.

“Hope everyone’s having a great time! I know I have! Well, I would if I hadn’t been back here freaking out backstage.” There’s laughter from the crowd, some whoops, and Jaskier licks his lips, a nervous chuckle spilling out. His eyes scanned the crowd, trying to find what would be an easy beacon...if Geralt was even there.

“This...this is a new song that I haven’t worked on for very long. But it comes from the heart and...well, I guess you’ll have to tell me how you like it.” 

He starts strumming on his own guitar, the only sound at first.

“There’s a storm, raging inside. Lightning crashes, over and over, over and over, over and- the waves are lapping, at my feet and now I’m sure I haven’t been discreet.”

The drums start to fill in behind him, base and lead guitar slowly making their presence known.

“I feel small, in the ocean of your love.”

The beat drops and all of a sudden gets wilder and more chaotic. 

“The waves submerge me and I’m converging on the edge of where I am and where I’d like to be...with you… forever and ever and ever, waking beside you, calm and collected, like my love’s not rejected.”

The chorus closes to the first bridge and it’s just Jaskier again. He’s staring out at all the faces. They’re all so happy, fists raised, heads bopping as he pours his heart out. 

His eyes are flitting through the crowd frantically and then his vision blurs. He smiles into the microphone, trying not to let his audience see the tears in his eyes.

“So here I am, standing on this island, waiting for you to notice me.” The music jumps again and he squeezes his eyes shut, acting like the fact that he can’t find Geralt in the crowd isn’t tearing at his chest. 

“I’m waving,I’m screaming, I’m crying, I’m trying to….to love you.”

He doesn’t open his eyes again as they cycle through the chorus and another bridge again before pounding out the ending.

He can hear everyone screaming, can hear his name on other people's lips. He smiles, throwing his hands up and he gives the audience a graceful bow and exits off the stage. His professor is there, singing his praises, as is the school newspaper and it’s all so overwhelming.

“Excuse, of course, I would love to but I need a moment.”

He holds back the tears until he’s on the grass, across the lawn, behind a small copse of trees behind the makeshift stage. He’s choking on his tears, back against the tree, holding it all together until he hears someone approaching.

“Please- I would like to be left alone for just a moment.”

“Well I would hope that the person that song was written for would be an exception.”

Jaskier turns, stunned, as Geralt comes around the trees to face him. There’s a soft smile on his lips and he’s gleaming. His hair is spun silver in the sunlight, eyes; two bright stars of their own. 

“Geralt.” Jaskier’s voice is soft, barely there.

“You know, I should be mad.”

Jaskier can feel the tears finally fall as Geralt steps even closer, bringing his arms around Jaskier and he pulls him to his chest. He’s smiling through the tears and he honestly doesn’t know what to do. So he settles for wrapping his own arms around Geralt and being his sassy self.

“Yeah? Why? Because I broadcast my feelings for you and I’m 99.9 percent sure everyone knows it was you?”

Geralt shakes his head, gentle smile turning into a smirk. “No. Because you read my journal.”

“Ah. Yes. Well, I asked for a sign from the Gods and it just happened to fall in front of my very eyes.”

“Open? With a big sign that said  _ read me _ ?” Geralt’s face was inching closer to Jaskier’s and Jaskier’s grin broadened as their noses touched. 

“Maybe not in so many words.”

The next thing he knows is Geralt’s lips on his own. They’re dry and rough but in contrast to his own, it makes him let out a groan of pleasure and he can’t help but push back a little. It deepens the kiss and Jaskier can’t help but pull away once he’s lightheaded, the thoughts in his mind making it hard for him to concentrate on how to even breathe.

“Wait...how did you- I didn’t even see you.”

“I was backstage. I was trying to find you before you performed but you got shoved onto stage before I could gather the courage to open my mouth. And then you ran right past me. I thought maybe I had been too late but…” Geralt cups Jaskier’s face with both hands, one thumb rubbing at his soft lips. 

They’re still smiling as Geralt pulls Jaskier forward for another kiss, one hand anchoring itself at the back of Jaskier’s neck. Jaskier rolls his hips, forgetting where they are, desperate to finally touch Geralt. 

Jaskier can hear his name being called and pulls away with a groan, rolling his eyes. “Can we pick this up a little later? Believe me, I do  _ not _ want to stop but  _ someone _ had to give me some amazing inspiration and now I’m better than Valdo Marx.”

“Someone’s getting a little cocky.” Geralt grins and places one more chaste kiss to Jaskier’s swollen lips before pulling back.

“How about we continue this after our first date?”

“But Seniors don’t date Freshman.”

Geralt takes Jaskier’s hand in his, pulling him away from the shade beneath the trees and into the warm sunlight. His smile is brilliant, one that left Jaskier breathless. “Hm, guess it’s a good thing we’re both freshmen.”

Jaskier can feel warmth swelling inside him again, fresh tears springing up with the fluttering in his chest. He was happy.  _ So _ happy. He looked out across the green grass as they walked back towards the stage and the people waiting for him. It felt so surreal. A green field had led him to his greatest crush and now he started a life with that crush on another field, as vibrant and luscious as his love for the man that carried him forward, into the light.

How a heart eclipsed with so much darkness could be the one leading him to his own light, Jaskier would never truly understand. Later, when they’re lying together, wrapped up in one another and speaking softly, Geralt would relent that without Jaskier, without his constant, sometimes  _ annoying _ blathering, he would never have found the light again, and would never have found love. 

  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> So I kind of cheated with some of those words in that I incorporated them directly into Jaskier’s lyrics. Sue me lol Honestly it was kind of difficult in trying to weave those words within song lyrics.
> 
> Oh well, I did my best. 
> 
> Please leave some love if you enjoyed this! I love hearing what you all liked or disliked, it really helps improve my writing! 
> 
> Thank you for taking the time to read this!


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